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Keywords:

• i feel like everytime i call him

Description: he's either fucking or getting into trouble.

Keywords:

• watching that soccer game was like

Description: getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.

Keywords:

• i realize now.

Description: i should have just made out with everyone and anyone when i had the chance.

Keywords:

• at some point the phrase

Description: "i've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life

Keywords:

• YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS

Description: WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS

Keywords:

• is it too forward to say

Description: "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"

Keywords:

• where's the chopping off someone's balls

Description: emoji

Keywords:

• i can taunt you with whatever i want.

Description: like batman and sex.

Keywords:

• today i lack passion

Description: for anything but taco tuesday.

Keywords:

• im trying to make cookies

Description: in the george foreman

Keywords:

• you obviously don't comprehend

Description: the level of insane i operate at

Keywords:

• your heart is a swirling cauldron

Description: of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.

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• i stopped taking my meds

Description: because i like crazy me better

Keywords:

• i don't know where i am.

Description: i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.

Keywords:

• i'm batshit crazy.

Description: i don't know how you guys keep forgetting that